While some parts of your wedding planning can be delegated to your coordinator or family members, writing your wedding vows is easily the most personal part of preparing for your day. Expressing your intimate emotions toward your partner, likely in front of a crowd of loved ones, can feel like a daunting task. Whether you’re struggling to come up with the inspiration to get started or having trouble finding the right words, these unique tips are sure to help you write wedding vows your soon-to-be-spouse will never forget!
1. Spend a weekend watching your favorite shows and movies, reading your favorite books, and listening to your favorite music as a couple
Diving into your shared favorite media can be a great way to inspire your vows if you’re the kind of couple who frequently uses movie quotes in regular conversation or exchanges weekly Spotify playlists. If you really identify with a couple on your favorite show, compare yourselves to their relationship throughout your vows. Struggling to put your feelings into words? Quote your favorite novel, poem, or song lyrics and expand on the theme as your write.
2. Go on a couple’s retreat
When there’s too much noise to focus, writing can be a challenge. Escape the hustle and bustle of every day life and enjoy each other’s company in a secluded location. Rent an AirBnB or a cabin in the woods to spend a few days reflecting on your relationship and discussing the future. Your time as an engaged couple doesn’t last long, making this experience even sweeter. Looking for more structure to your getaway? Check out your local faith centers and couple’s counseling programs for premarital retreats, which often include an agenda of activities to get in tune with each other while also meeting other couples who are in the same stage of life.
3. Interview married couples you admire
Remember that writing your vows includes making promises to your partner for the future. To find out what makes a healthy marriage work, check in with couples whose marriages you look up to. The insight they share, whether it’s from one year of marriage or fifty, can be invaluable to your own marriage as well as your vows. Plus, how fun would it be to interview your parents, grandparents, or favorite married friends about their love and how their relationship has changed over the course of their marriage!
4. Have a date with the Best Man/Maid of Honor
There’s one person who might: their Best Man or Maid of Honor while you may think that no one knows your partner as well as you do. In addition to wanting to have a great friendship with this person who is so important to your future spouse, having a one-on-one date with them may give you some ideas for what to write in your vows. Maybe there’s a funny story you’ve never heard of your partner’s reaction to your first date or a memory from year’s past that slipped your mind, but they remember. It can also be extremely special to hear how those close to you view your relationship and what they find so exceptional about your love.
5. Write each other love letters
Many wedding vows take the form of a love letter, so why not write some? Allow us to set the scene for you: you’re sitting together on the floor of your living room, back to back, giggling and/or crying as you write each other love letters that you won’t share until your wedding day. Can you think of anything more romantic? Because we sure can’t!
6. Tell someone who doesn’t know the story of how you met or the moment you knew they were The One
Retelling it to someone who has never heard it can be pretty magical although most of the people in your life probably know the story of how you met your fiance. Recalling all of the little things that brought you together, knowing what you know now, makes your story feel like the greatest fairy tale ever told. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself laughing or even crying, especially if you share the moment you realized this was the person you wanted to spend your whole life with! The experience of recounting your relationship history can play an interesting role in crafting your vows, as you have a recent refresher on the timeline of your love. Not to mention, you’re probably giddy with the same butterflies you had way back when, which can be the perfect touch to your heartfelt vows.